


Bruises

by Aryagraceling



Series: Catharsis [27]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Dissociation, Feelings, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Trust, Tumblr Prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-22
Updated: 2019-08-22
Packaged: 2020-09-23 23:11:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,079
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20348389
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aryagraceling/pseuds/Aryagraceling
Summary: There’s bruises on his wrists, his chest, his neck, bruises that hewishesIruka had put there. He likes fucking Iruka.Lovesit, in fact, and feels guilty that he puts such a burden on the chunin in the name of duty. Iruka says he doesn’t mind, that he understands, but Kakashi’s barely gotten to the point of believing him when he saysI love you.He doesn’t know if he trusts “it’s all right.”





	Bruises

**Author's Note:**

> For tumblr prompt "lightly kissing the top of a freshly formed bruise."

Kakashi doesn’t know how long he’s been staring at the page in front of him. Iruka’s arms are solid and warm around him, heartbeat steady against Kakashi’s skin where his throat’s nestled against his shoulder, and it’s lulled him into quiet. The world outside has ceased to exist--he doesn’t hear the chattering outside of their window, or the excited barking of a dog down the street, or the rustling of a pre-storm wind in the trees.

There’s only he and Iruka now.

Iruka’s been resting for a while, breathing deeply as he slumps against Kakashi’s back. For a time, he was reading along, joking with Kakashi about how they might get to play as those characters in the bedroom sometime. Kakashi wasn’t going to say no, because he knows that on another day, he’ll go along willingly.

He said yes and continued reading, Iruka’s hand splayed across his chest as they sat idly on the couch.

But now Iruka’s asleep, and Kakashi doesn’t have his gentle teasing to lighten the way the sex affects him. He never truly enjoys coming back from missions, and it’s especially hard when the mission you’re coming back from is one you have to forget  _ your _ partner and lose yourself in another.

There’s bruises on his wrists, his chest, his neck, bruises that he  _ wishes  _ Iruka had put there. He  _ likes  _ fucking Iruka. Loves it, in fact, and feels guilty that he puts such a burden on the chunin in the name of duty. Iruka says he doesn’t mind, that he understands, but Kakashi’s barely gotten to the point of believing him when he says  _ I love you. _

He doesn’t know if he trusts “it’s all right.”

A sharp gust of wind sends a branch smacking into the window and startles Iruka awake. Kakashi winces, freezes as their heads crash together. He should’ve felt it, should’ve known the pain was coming, but he didn’t, because he’s let his guard down. Iruka’s tenderness over this last year has made sure of that.

“Sorry,” Iruka murmurs. His arms tighten as he yawns, pressing his face into Kakashi’s shoulder. “How long have I been asleep?”

Kakashi stares at the pages, unable to answer. No answer is better than a wrong one, he supposes, because trusting your partner is of the utmost importance in their line of work and if you break that trust, who will be there to bring you back to earth when you drift away?

“Kakashi?”

He shrugs, just barely.

Iruka repeats his name, now a statement rather than a question. His lips brush over the same place Kakashi’s mark laid bruises as he says it like a prayer, a beacon through the fog clouding his head. “You haven’t turned the page since I drifted off.”

Kakashi lets his head tip back to rest his temple against Iruka’s. He’s got nothing to say in return. All the excuses he could muster would ring hollow in their ears, eaten by the thick blanket they’ve got draped over their laps. He hasn’t turned the page because without Iruka to ease him through the feelings dredged up by the words, he knows he’ll spiral to a place he doesn’t know anyone can reach.

It’s a give and take, a delicate balance they’ve made for themselves here in Iruka’s living room. He tries to speak, but  _ I needed you  _ catches in his throat. It’s too much for an Iruka who’s just woken up, so he clears his throat and whispers that he missed him instead.

“You’re sweet,” Iruka tells him. 

Kakashi doesn’t know if a man built on blood, sex, and steel could ever be sweet, but he’s willing to try for his chunin. Silently, he closes the book and fumbles for Iruka’s hand. His eyes are unseeing as he stares, bringing Iruka’s knuckles to his torn lips. “I try,” he whispers against the tanned skin.

“You do a good job.” 

“Mm.” 

With a low sigh, Iruka threads their fingers together. “Do you want me to read to you?”

Kakashi doesn’t ever feel more like a child than he does during these few crucial steps of their dance. As he shakes his head, he shifts between Iruka’s legs so he can rest his cheek against Iruka’s chest and tuck his hands under his chin. He shrinks into himself in the seconds that Iruka takes to put the book on the table and pull the blanket higher.

“Tell me,” Iruka breathes, cradling Kakashi to him. “What do you need today?”

_ For the world to stop so we can stay like this forever. _

Wordlessly, Kakashi offers up his wrist. It’s bone white like the rest of him, so the marks where he’d been held stand in stark contrast to the surrounding skin. They don’t hurt. He wasn’t grabbed quite hard enough for that. 

What hurts is the way Iruka’s touch sears into him. He’s always warm, enough to make Kakashi sweat on summer days. But it’s autumn now, and Kakashi’s fingers are close to freezing because Iruka makes him take his gloves off in the house. He lets out the softest whine into Iruka’s sweatshirt as the chunin’s fingertips graze over marks he’d rather forget exist.

Iruka knows he doesn’t care for this, but it goes back to their give and take. Because Kakashi gives himself away, Iruka is allowed to take his time and assure Kakashi that he’s  _ loved,  _ that he’s worthy of what Iruka wants to give him. As he turns Kakashi’s hand over in the low light, he sets his chin on his head. “Will you let me help you through this?” he asks softly.

He’s long since stopped asking if Kakashi is okay, because when is he ever? After the tenth, twentieth, hundredth non-committal  _ maa, sensei, perhaps,  _ he began asking if there was anything he could do. When he grew tired of being told no, of feeling useless on nights Kakashi stays up replaying the horrors from his vault of memories, he began to ask if he could simply  _ be  _ there for him.

Kakashi’s not going to deny him that.

He nods after a second, breath hitching as he peers out from behind the fabric to watch Iruka’s lashes brush over his palm when he lowers his lips to kiss the bruises. Heat blooms with every touch, every breath that Iruka lets roll across Kakashi’s wrist as he silently,  _ gently  _ lets him know he’ll get through this, that he’s loved, and that he is  _ his. _

Irrevocably.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Comments always read and _very_ much appreciated, and I always do my best to get back to them ❤️
> 
> You can also find me lurking and yelling about fictional characters on:  
[Twitter](https://www.twitter.com/aryagraceling)  
[Discord](https://discord.gg/cM8FaND)  
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